


Casual Affair

by CutieCiderPie



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Cheating spouse, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sex, This takes place a few years prior to the start of the game, also mary is amazing, i hate both of these ships romantically, it will make sense if you read it, joseph is a shitty person, protect my smol child robert, yes mary and robert do fuck in this fic but not romantically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-01-28 08:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12602976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutieCiderPie/pseuds/CutieCiderPie
Summary: The Christiansen household just moved to Maple Bay, and Joseph wants to immediately meet his new neighbors. Scared of what might happen, Mary tries to distract him, but ends up making friends with neighbor Robert instead. As the time goes by, Joseph seems interested in Robert, but will he act on it, or stay true to his marriage?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I’ve been trying to get back into multi-chapter fanfiction writing and since Dream Daddy is like my whole life at the moment I figured this was a good start.
> 
> This fanfiction is only gonna be 5 chapters, with no plans for a sequel or anything of the nature.
> 
> Just as a preface - I personally don’t ship either of these ships romantically. I love Robert and Mary as friends, personally don’t like Joseph/Robert, but this was a concept I talked about with my roommate and we were laughing at the thought.
> 
> Yes the title is inspired by the P!atD song
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Obviously, I don’t own any of the characters or content associated with Dream Daddy. I wish I did, but things would have gone very differently if that were the case.
> 
> Without further ado, here is Casual Affair, Chapter 1

“Lemme help you with that, honey.” the blonde man said to his wife as he took the heavy cardboard box into his own hands. He happily carried it into the unfurnished house and set it down in the living room.

Mary Christiansen leaned against the door frame, admiring the scene in front of her. Her eldest child, Chris, was sitting on the floor, playing with his trucks happily. Her twins were gurgling joyfully inside the fold-out playpen. Joseph, her husband, stood upright and looked at her with a grin on his face. She was happy to be in a new town, with new scenery, for hopefully a new life.

Joseph strided over to Mary, placing his hands on her shoulders. “We did it, Mary. That was the last box. Feels good to be done.” He smiled his usual full smile, ‘a pastor’s smile’ as he would have called it. She realized how she missed that smile being directed towards her. “Now, how about we go meet those wonderful new neighbors of ours, huh? I saw some other dads in this cul-de-sac that I’m sure would just die at one taste of my barbecue!”

 _Shit. We just got here. He’s awfully eager_. “Well, darling. Wouldn’t you rather wait until the house is more in order? That way no one catches us in a state of messiness?” Mary suggested, clearly hoping that would do the trick.

The youth pastor thought about this for a second before answering. “You know, you’re absolutely right. Goodness, what would I do without you, sweetie?” He leaned forward and kissed Mary on the forehead.

The dirty blonde sighed with relief, and smiled. “Well then, sailor, how about some celebratory drinks? I think I saw a bar just down the road that could be nice.”

Joseph’s face suddenly wore a slightly disappointed look. “Hmm… the kids probably shouldn’t be left alone…” he looked behind him at his three children playing peacefully before looking back at his wife. “But you go. Have fun. I’ll be okay watching the little ones for the night.”

Well that didn’t really go as planned. Still Mary smiled at her husband. “Okay. I’ll tell you if The Game tonight was any good.” She picked up her purse, kissed Joseph on the cheek, and headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mary saunters up to a run-down looking bar with a sign that read “Jim and Kim’s”. Not expecting much out of this place, she walks in, notices a practically empty establishment. She makes her way over to the bar and sits down on one of the barstools, ordering a glass of red wine from the bartender. _I wonder if that’s Jim or Kim. Huh. I suppose it doesn’t matter_. She grabs the glass that is handed to her and downs half of it in one swig. _I know I said I would stop drinking, but with this new neighborhood and all the new people... I have to wonder… oh well… old habits die hard I suppose_. The dirty blonde downs the rest of her glass and orders another one.

A few seats down, a rugged-looking man orders another drink for himself, though Mary doesn’t hear what it is. He is wearing a leather jacket and red shirt underneath, ripped jeans and combat boots. Sunglasses sit closed on his shirt neckline, despite it being nighttime. He takes the glass of liquid from the bartender and sips it casually. “Never was a fan of wine. Always preferred the hard stuff. Gets you drunk faster.” He says without looking up from his drink.

Assuming the statement was directed at her, Mary responds. “Agreed, but when you’re someone who drinks constantly like me and has kids, getting drunk faster isn’t really a good thing.”

“That never stopped me.” The man looks up at Mary. “The names Robert Small. I’ve never seen you here before, and I know all the bar regulars. You just passing through here?”

The woman gets up, grabs her drink, and casually strolls over to lean on the counter next to the man. “The name’s Mary. Mary Christiansen. My family and I just moved here. My husband is the new youth pastor at the local church.”

Robert grimaced at the mention of church and raised an eyebrow. “Ah, pastor’s wife. What’s a good little Christian girl like yourself doing in a dirty old bar like this?” He took another sip of what Mary could now identify as whiskey.

“Religion has nothing to do with it when you’re trying to escape your problems.” Mary took a sip of her wine. “Besides, it was Jesus that turned water into wine. He clearly meant for all Christians to get drunk off their ass.”

The man laughed a low, gravelly chuckle. “I like you, Mary. You got fire. Up for a round?” He asked, holding up his whiskey glass.

Mary smirked. “Slow down sailor. I got kids to go home to.” She looks at the bartender. “One wine and one whiskey.” She looks back at Robert, who is sitting with a slightly confused expression. “What? I have kids to go home to, not a church service to attend. A few more drinks won’t hurt.” She sat down next to him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Many hours and many drinks later, Mary realized the time and figured she should head home. She stood up. “Well, sailor. It’s been great talking to you, but I have to head back.”

“Ah I’ll walk you home. Where do you live?” Robert stood up, drunkenly walking towards the door.

Mary smiled a tipsy smile. “In the cul-de-sac a street or so down. You know it?”

The man looked taken aback. “No shit. Me too. What a surprise. Let’s go.”

The two of them walked out of the bar and stumbled home, Mary having to occasionally support Robert and help him home. They come up to an average looking one story with a red pickup truck in front.

“This is mi casa.” Robert explained. “Thanks for tonight. Haven’t had that much fun in a long time.”

“Likewise, Robert. It was nice to share my drunken stupor with someone new.” Mary remarked.

The drunk man hesitated for a second. “You wanna come in? We could continue this party a little longer.”

Sensing his intentions, Mary stopped him. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m married, remember? Besides, I’m not sure I think of you that way.” She pulled a paper and pen out of her purse and wrote down her phone number, extending the paper to Robert. “Drinking buddies?”

Robert took the paper and nodded. “Drinking buddies.”

“See ya round, sailor. Text me if you need help nursing that hangover.” Mary chuckled and walked up the driveway to her own house. Maybe things in Maple Bay would be alright after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! I’ll keep the notes relatively short so you can get to the chapter. Thank you so much for reading my first chapter. I hope you enjoy this one too!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately don’t own Dream Daddy… *cries*

“And you saw the Dover Ghost then?” Mary chuckled as she sipped her wine and relaxed on her couch.

Robert sat forward, elbows on his knees. “Yes, Mary. I swear. That ghost… it’s out to get me. To get all of us.”

The dirty blonde smirked. “You know, if you weren’t such a good friend of mine, I’d say you were full of shit. Honestly you could be.” She tipped her glass towards him before taking another sip.

This had been going on for a few weeks. Mary started meeting Robert at the bar almost daily to drink a little, sometimes a lot when she got worried. But since then it has progressed to her inviting him over to their house to hang out during the day. Robert had taken quite fondly to the kids, especially the twins, and them to him. Joseph on the other hand still seemed hesitant. He was courteous, but not necessarily inviting towards Mary’s new friend.

Mary looked over to see Joseph awkwardly standing at the entrance to the living room. “Well come on in, captain. We don’t bite- well, I don’t. I can’t make promises for this one.” She remarked, gesturing over to Robert and grinning.

“I make no promises for myself. I’ve been known to bite when I need to assert dominance.” The man deadpanned. “The last man I had to do that with walked away with a few less fingers…”

Joseph’s face turned to one of complete horror. “Kirk Douglas! You bit a man’s fingers off?!”

Robert broke his character and started to chuckle. “Nah man. I’m just messing with you. Ya gotta know when I’m serious and not. You’ll pick up fast. Mary did.”

The blonde man admired at Robert’s smile. His teeth were quite white against his tan skin. And he had quite the interesting personality. This seemed like someone Joseph perhaps could warm up to. He walked over and sat next to his wife, wrapping his arm around her.

Slightly surprised, Mary nestled into her husband’s arm, taking another sip of wine. “Alright Robert, so tell Joseph why the Dover Ghost is supposedly after you, considering he hasn’t heard it.”

Robert’s eyes seemed to light up. “Oooh okay. So Joseph, I don’t know how familiar you are with the Dover Ghost, so let me dive into a complete history…”

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Mary sighed, holding a crying Chris in her arms. “Joseph, do you mind messaging Robert and telling him I can’t come to the bar tonight. I know you don’t handle crying and vomiting well and Chris is doing… well, both of those right now.”

_It’s true. That’s why I work with Youths. They’re old enough to sort themselves out._ “Sure thing, Mary. Actually, if you don’t mind, I may skip out and go hang out with Robert at the bar if he agrees. I’ve taken quite a liking to the guy.”

Only hearing half the sentence amidst the screaming, Mary just nods and half-heartedly responds “Yeah that’s fine. Hey I’m gonna spend tonight in Chris’ room just so you know.” Before anymore of the conversation could be had, Mary huffed and took her screaming eldest into his room.

_Perfect. I’ve been needing an excuse to message Robert on Dadbook for weeks. This seems to be just the perfect opportunity_. Joseph picked up his phone and opened his messages, selecting Robert out of the list of dads he was friends with on Dadbook. He began to type.

_Joseph: Hey neighbor! Mary can’t come to the bar tonight. She’s taking care of our eldest child tonight, who is sick._

A few minutes, a response from Robert.

_Robert: Shit… why can’t you do it?_

Joseph grimaced.

_Joseph: I… uh… I don’t do well with vomiting._

_Robert: Fair enough. Well, I guess I’ll drink alone tonight. Thanks._

Realizing what he was saying, Joseph sprung into action.

_Joseph: Why don’t I come join you?_

_Robert: You drink?_

_Joseph: When there’s good company to be had and a good story to be told._

_Robert: Great. Meet me at Jim and Kim’s._

Slightly excited, Joseph grabbed his blue sweater, tied it to it’s usual spot, and headed out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Robert, if you don’t mind my saying, you seem… drunker than usual. What’s up? You know, I am a Youth Minister, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help a friend in need.” Joseph casually rest his hand on Robert’s thigh, his other hand holding the same glass of wine he had been nursing since he arrived at the bar.

The drunk man sniffed, downed his whiskey, and ordered another glass. “It’s my wife. Today is the anniversary of her death. Every year, I tell myself it will get easier, but in the end, it only gets harder.” He sulked, just staring at his new glass. “I thought having a friend like Mary would make it easier, her being someone I could confide in, but she just reminds me so much of Marilyn…” His voice trailed off.

_Him being this wasted over anything isn’t good, but now I feel responsible simply for moving here with Mary_. “Why don’t we take a walk. Perhaps fresh air would do you good. You can stay the night at our house so you aren’t alone tonight.”

Robert nodded, too drunk to fight back. He paid his tab, and the two men walked out the bar, strolling towards their cul-de-sac.

Joseph sighed. “You know, I know how you feel. Maybe not totally, but I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

“Yeah right.” The other man retorted. “You have a perfect life. A nice home, great kids, a caring wife. What more could you ask for?”

The blonde paused for a second. _Perhaps I shouldn’t do this. He’s really drunk and upset right now… but a friend in need is a friend indeed, and Jesus always wants us to help those who need it, right?_ He cleared his throat. “Actually, most of that is just a facade. Mainly with Mary.” Joseph sulked a bit, making his voice sound more saddened. “I didn’t want to tell anyone this, but Mary and I are in the process of getting a divorce. We hoped moving here would help, but it’s only caused more issues.”

Robert stopped both of them, making them turn face to face. “Seriously? You aren’t bullshitting me, you guys are actually splitting? Man… I guess that explains why Mary has seemed a bit out of it lately…”

_Maybe I’m going too far. But look at him. He’s so… perfect_. Joseph continued on with his sad expression. “Yeah. We try to make our appearance seem like the model Christian family, since so many people look up to us. It just wasn’t working out. She’s a wonderful woman, and it tears me apart to lose her…” A single tear rolled down his cheek.

“I hear ya man.” The other man remarked as they continued to walk towards the Christiansen household. “I’m sorry. I know how it is to lose a spouse you love. It fucking sucks. Is there anything I can do?”

The blonde’s eyes brightened slightly. “Well actually, yes, there is-” He cut himself off. “We must be quiet inside. If Chris is finally sleeping, Mary may be too, and they both need it.” He motioned to follow, and the two made their way into the master bedroom, where Joseph locked the door behind him.

Robert shucked his jacket off his shoulders and tossed it carelessly onto the floor. “So, as you were saying…”

“Ah yes. There is something you could do for me.” Joseph stepped away from the door, standing in front of Robert, looking into his brown eyes in the dimly lit room. “You see, Robert, I believe I have developed feelings for you, and considering the less than optimal situation we are both in…”

Clearly too drunk to comprehend the consequences of the situation, Robert smirked. “I mean I’m not gonna stop you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Just as a preface, the next chapter I post will be completely optional to read. It doesn’t affect the overall plot of the story, but it would make the chapter to follow more intense.  
> See ya next week~


	3. Chapter 2.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo. As promised, here is the optional chapter. It is purely smut, as where I left it off with the last chapter things can be implied, however if you wanna read the smut (let’s be real, that’s why you’re here isn’t it?) Then enjoy.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Dream Daddy isn’t mine.

With that, Joseph grabbed Robert and pushed him up against the wall, running his tongue along the other man’s bottom lip, the taste of whiskey strong. He bit down on Robert’s bottom lip, drawing blood and making him gasp. They each took their shirts off, dumping them somewhere on the floor, immediately forgetting about them. The rugged man took the opportunity to grab hold of Joseph and push him backwards until he landed on the bed, Robert stradling him. 

The blonde sat up on his elbows, revealing his lean body with a slight set of abs. He looked up at Robert and smirked. “Like what you see? You’re more than welcome to explore.”

All sense of inhibition out the window, Robert swooped down, supporting himself with his arms. He locked his lips with Joseph’s for another heated kiss while the blonde’s hands roamed over his own upper body. He moved his mouth down the other man’s neck, leaving one large hickie behind his left ear. 

Joseph moaned at the intense feeling, his hands making their way down to the waistband of his pants. He began to unbutton the other man’s jeans when Robert stopped. Joseph looked him in the eyes. “This is okay, right? Or do you wanna stop?”

“No. Keep going.” With that, Robert stood up and removed his jeans, tossing them to the ground, then helping Joseph do the same. He positioned himself back on top of Joseph, continuing his trail down his body, leaving random little hickies along the way.

The blonde raked his fingers down the other man’s back, hoping he drew blood. Feeling the tent forming in his briefs, he reached down and began to palm his erection, hoping for any friction at all. He let out a small moan at the feeling.

Noticing what the other man was doing, Robert stopped and swatted his hand away. The action was met with a confused expression. Robert smirked, trailing a hand down the other man’s underwear, grabbing his dick. Joseph gasped in pleasure, and emitted a moan as Robert slowly began to pump his hand up and down the shaft.

As Robert’s hand quickened in pace, Joseph’s breath became more shallow, feeling the knot growing in his stomach. “Robert, I’m gonna-” He whined as the hand was quickly removed.

“Not yet. I want you.” The rugged man stated. Both men removed their underwear, and they traded places on the bed, Robert laying his back down on the queen bed.

Joseph took in the sight before him, tan skin coated with a thin sheen of sweat. “You look perfect.” He said in awe.

“Don’t get sappy on me now, blondie.” Robert remarked.

Before anything more could be said, Joseph stuck three fingers in Robert’s face. “Suck.”

Without hesitation, the drunk man took all three fingers in his mouth, coating them heavily with his own saliva. He heard a wet popping sound as he felt the fingers removed.

The blonde stood at the base of the bed, spreading the other man’s legs open. He paused and looked up. “You okay with this?”

“God I’m not a baby. Yes I’m fine with it just please do something.” Robert replied, sounding desperate for attention.

With that, Joseph slid one finger in Robert’s tight hole. He began to curl it in and out before entering a second finger. The man moaned in pleasure, so Joseph continued, scissoring his fingers in order to stretch him out a little more. Once those seemed comfortable, he added his third finger, spreading them out as much as possible.

Robert moaned. “Mmm fuck that feels so good. Get on with it already.”

Joseph removed his fingers, eliciting a slight whine from the other man. Grabbing a condom from the bedside table, he opened the packet and slid the latex over his erection. He knelt on the bed, taking Robert’s legs and spreading them further apart. He lined up the tip of his dick with the man’s hole and slowly slid in until he bottomed out.

“Shit. Fuck.” Robert exclaimed, though it only came out as a whisper. “Mmm please move I want to feel you.” 

The blonde leaned down, placing an arm on each side of Robert and spreading his legs farther apart. He pulled out all the way to the tip before slamming back in with full force. He continued this action, slowly at first but eventually gaining momentum. Robert stayed relatively quiet until he managed to hit just the right spot.

“God yes! Right there.” Robert exclaimed. He gripped the bed sheets, his knuckles turning practically white. “I’m so close.” He took one hand and began pumping his throbbing erection.

Joseph quickened his pace, making sure to hit that spot repeatedly. He gripped the other man’s hips to gain better leverage. Feeling the heat in his stomach increase, he leaned down and muffled the moans of both men as they came together, strings of white coating both of their chests as Robert released.

Robert slumped back, completely spent. Joseph pulled out and lay next to the other man, both breathing heavy.

“That was…” Robert breathed.

The blonde looked at Robert, smiling. “Amazing. Thank you Robert.”

The rugged man snorted. “Don’t get all lovey-dovey on me now.” His expression softened. “But thank you. I needed it.”

With that, Joseph cleaned them both up and they snuggled underneath the covers, falling asleep in the afterglow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes
> 
> There ya go, filthy bastards. But in all seriousness, I may hate this ship with a burning passion, but this was still fun to write. A bit of an experiment for me. Let me know what you guys thought!
> 
> See ya next week!


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here’s the real chapter 3. If you read the optional chapter, hope you enjoyed. If not, you should still be able to piece together what happened.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: DDADDS is unfortunately not mine

Mary woke up on the floor. _I guess I finally got the brat to fall asleep. God I don’t even remember much of last night._ She got up and looked at her sleeping child with a mother’s fondness. I’ll let him sleep. He needs it. She quietly exited the room, closing the door softly behind her. She went to check on the twins in the other room, and they were also still sleeping. _Thank God. I’ll go make breakfast then. But first, I should probably go make sure Joseph came home okay last night._

The dirty blonde walked over to the door leading to the master bedroom, tried to open it, and found it locked. _Huh… that’s odd. Maybe Chris got up in the middle of the night and started bugging him so he locked the door._ She reached up and felt along the top of the doorframe until she found a little key. She fumbled around with the lock until it clicked open, and she quietly opened the door.

Laying in the unkempt bed lay her darling husband, but she was in shock. He was naked, and laying next to him was none other than her drinking buddy. Her best friend. Or so she thought.

“Joseph…” She said, quietly. Neither of them woke. She was shaking, on the verge of tears. _Not again. Not again he promise this time would be different. I was so stupid to believe him. But with Robert?_ Suddenly overcome with anger, she marched over to the bed and ripped the sheets off, startling both men awake.

The blonde was the first to react. “M-Mary?! Mary it’s not what it looks like-”

“Not what it looks like? It looks like you cheated on me again. After you said you would change…” Mary redirected her attention to Robert. “And you. How _dare_ you. After I befriended you and trusted you this is how you repay me?”

“Mary I-” Robert started to explain.

Mary huffed in disgust. “Save it. I’m not interested. Get your stuff and go. I don’t want to see you again.”

With that, Robert sulked, getting off the bed and began to get dressed, looking like a kicked puppy.

“And don’t think you’ve gotten off so easy, Joseph. I’m so tired of this! When is enough enough? I know we aren’t perfect but I’m trying to do better. You just don’t seem to love me.” Mary fought hard not to tear up.

Robert looked at the scene for a moment, but not wanting to cause more trouble, quietly exited the Christiansen house.

Joseph looked Mary in the eyes. “I do love you Mary. Please believe me.” He reached to put his hand on her shoulder.

She swatted it away. “No. I’m done. Just… just go. Anywhere. I don’t care. Just leave.” She turned around and exited the room. Joseph could hear her crying in the other room.

_Damn… maybe I went too far this time. I just hoped I would realize I do truly love Mary before it got that far._

Not wanting to cause any more of a scene, Joseph packed a few of his essentials and quietly shuffled out the door

~~~~~~~~~~

_Joseph: Hey friend!_

For a while, the man received no response, so he decided to message again 20 minutes later.

_Joseph: Robert, I know things sort of went sour this morning, but I want to talk about what happened. Where we go from here. Will you meet me at the dock? My boat is parked there._

About five more minutes had passed before Joseph’s phone lit up.

_Robert: Why should I trust you? You lied to me. You used me. I’ve lost Mary as a result._

_Joseph: Yes. I know. You have no reason to trust me. But I didn’t use you Robert. Didn’t you have fun? As for Mary, she wasn’t willing to hear either of us out. She didn’t want to solve the problem or make amends. How good of a person does that make her?_

_Robert: … You know what? I may not trust you, but you’re right. She didn’t give me the chance to explain. It wouldn’t make me any better of a person to do the same to you. Sure. I’ll meet you there in ten._

The blonde takes the opportunity to clean up his boat and make it look more presentable. He realized that ten minutes has passed, and he makes his way out onto the dock and waits for Robert.

Not more than a few minutes later, Robert appears, sauntering up to the boat, smoking like a chimney. “Hey.”

“Hello Robert. Would you like to join me on my boat?” Joseph asked, a bit nervous.

Robert shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well that’s why I’m here isn’t it? Sure. We should talk anyway.”

“Yes. We should.” Joseph motioned to follow him, and the two made their way onto the boat and down to the lower deck, where there was a small living room complete with a bed and bookshelves. Joseph sat on the bed and motioned for Robert to do the same. “Let me explain myself. I will admit, when I began talking to you that night, I was putting up a facade. I was using you in an attempt to prove to myself that I still really loved Mary. But as the night went on, I felt something. A connection.”

The rugged man sighed. “Okay. But why? Why me? Why do you have to cheat on your spouse to prove that you love them? That doesn’t fucking make sense!”

The blonde considered this for a second. “Because I was jealous. I was jealous that you and Mary got on so well. I wanted to feel that emotion. I wanted you.”

Hearing that phrase sent a strange pang of warmth in Robert’s gut. “I see. Well… How are things with you and Mary at the moment?”

“A bit on choppy waters. That’s why I’m here. She kicked me out, but I don’t know if that was the end.” Joseph replied. “She did the same to me. I didn’t get to explain much either.”

Robert clenched his jaw. “You know what? Fuck it. She’s done us both wrong. I’m sorry for not trusting you. You wanna continue?”

Joseph smirked, resting his hands on the other man’s hips. “I mean… I won’t stop you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

For weeks this continued on. Sometimes Robert would go over to the dock, other times Joseph would come over to Robert’s place. Once they even drove in Robert’s pick up truck and had a night up in the mountains. They began to become more comfortable with each other. Joseph let Robert keep his blue sweater, and Robert showed Joseph how to widdle. Over time, Robert began to care less and less about Mary. Hell, he was even drinking less, showering more, actually trying to be a decent person.

He was falling in love with Joseph.

Robert knew it was wrong, but it just felt so right. Their bodies just seemed to become one every time they were together. He couldn’t tell if Joseph truly felt the same. _If he didn’t feel the same, he would have left me by now, right?_

One night, Robert was over on Joseph’s boat, bodies tangled together, just laying in silence. Robert liked silence. He was happy with the atmosphere of the room: peaceful and serene.

Suddenly, Joseph spoke up. “Robert?”

Slightly annoyed, he responded. “Yeah Joseph.”

“I want you. Give me attention?” The blonde shifted, laying on his back to reveal a growing tent in his slacks.

“I’m not really interested right now, Joseph. Can we just keep sitting in silence?” Robert had had a hard day and just really wanted to relax.

Joseph huffed. “Rob, if this is going to work, we need to compromise. I’ve sat in silence long enough. Can’t you do what I want right now?”

This infuriated Robert. He sat up and stared at Joseph. “First off, _never_ call me Rob. Second, Why do we always have to do what you want? We haven’t compromised since we started this whole thing. Do you even love me?!”

“Love? What’s love got to do with it?” Joseph replied nonchalantly.

With that, Robert felt his heart physically break. “What? What do you mean? I thought we continued this because you said you felt a connection between us.”

“Oh you thought… no I didn’t mean a romantic connection. I assumed you were on the same page. I felt a sexual connection. No romantic feelings involved.” Joseph explained. “I guess you believed otherwise.”

Shaking, holding back all his emotions, Robert replied, “Yeah. I did. My mistake.” He slipped off the blue sweater he was wearing and zipped up his leather jacket. “Find someone else’s life to fuck up. Don’t call me again.” He walked out and made his way home, grabbed a new shirt, then wandered over to his usual seat at the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent most of this chapter muttering “I’m sorry Robert” to myself. I feel bad for my poor messed up baby. Protect him.
> 
> Until next week my loves~


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after that last chapter, I wanted to get to the real reason I wrote this whole story. We are on the down stretch. I have this chapter and one final chapter planned out. So with that, on with the story.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: *sigh* Dream Daddy isn’t mine.

Robert set his now empty glass down. “Neil, I’ll have another.” He looked up at the TV and noticed The Game was on and his favorite team was playing, but he couldn’t be less interested. He put his head in his hands. _How could I have been so stupid? To think that bastard actually had feelings for me…_ He picked up the glass and downed it, attempting to drown his feelings out with the strong taste of alcohol.

A bell rang as the front door opened to the bar. A familiar voice sighed, “Neil, red wine.” She made her way over to the barstools, sitting a few seats down from Robert. “Look what the cat dragged in. Hey sailor.”

“Don’t call me that, Mary.” The drunk man muttered. “Don’t you have kids to look after?”

“Don’t you have my husband to fuck?” Mary retorted, taking a sip of her wine.

Robert rolled his eyes. “Piss off. I don’t have time for your petty games. I’ve had enough people toying with my emotions for one day.”

Beginning to understand, Mary’s expression softened slightly. “You figured out he was using you, didn’t you?”

The rugged man clenched his jaw, refusing to make eye contact with the woman.

“Gotcha. I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s not the first time this has happened.” Mary stated nonchalantly. This got Robert’s attention. He looked over at Mary, seeming confused. She continued. “Yeah. You think I was surprised he was cheating on me again? Nah. This ain’t my first rodeo. This has been going on since we got married.”

Robert turned to fully face Mary now. “So then… why didn’t you hear me out? More importantly, why don’t you leave that son of a bitch?”

“Well, I don’t leave him because I still love him. Every time this happens, I build up hope that it will be the last, that he will change.” Mary explained, taking another sip of wine. “As far as why I didn’t hear you out… because with all the people Joseph has cheated with, I haven’t cared about any of them. They meant as little to me as they did to him. But with you… I haven’t had that close of a connection with someone in a long time. To see you be the person he cheated on me with, it broke my heart.”

Robert looked at the dirty blonde, stunned. “Mary, I didn’t mean to hurt you. In all honesty, Joseph said you two were getting a divorce, and I was so drunk I… I acted against my better judgement. That’s no excuse though. I hurt you. I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

The woman sighed. “I shouldn’t hold my husband’s actions against you. You were in love. People do crazy things in the name of love. I care about you, Robert. Besides, I want my drinking buddy back. All the young guys here stay away from me now. They got tired of me.”

This made the man laugh. “Yeah, I could use a drinking buddy again too.” He raised his glass towards Mary. “We cool?”

Mary raised her glass in response. “We’re good.”

They both took a sip of their drinks, immediately feeling as if they had never left.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had gone by, and both adults were drunk and laughing, having caught up with each other fully.

“Hey Robert?” Mary asked as they had come to an end to their previous conversation.

The man looked up. “Yeah?”

“I have a crazy proposition for you.” The woman sipped her wine.

Robert rolled his eyes. “For the last time, I will not let you record me saying Mothman is real, cause Mothman is total bullshit.”

Mary snorted. “No, no. Nothing like that, though I will make you do that one day. What if I told you I had a way for us to get back at Joseph?”

“I’m interested.” Robert begins to take a long sip on his whiskey.

“What if we fuck?” The woman stated casually.

The man spewed his drink, attempting not to choke. “M-Mary. Look, I like ya, but not in that way.”

“No, God no. I don’t with you either.” Mary responded. “Let me explain. What if we allow the cheater to become the cheatee. Basically, you and I agree to a one time fuck, no romantic or sexual feelings attached, simply to get back at him. I know he’s home right now because he always sneaks back in when I’m out of the house. We make sure he hears us and walks in on us, so he knows how it feels.”

Robert considered this for a moment. “Sure. Why not.” He shrugged. “Sounds like fun.”

Mary smirked. “I knew I could count on you. Now, how about we head back and make a grown man cry?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun duN DUUUUNNN
> 
> But in all seriousness, one more chapter folks. The next chapter may end up being a bit shorter than the rest, as it’s just meant to tie everything off, but who knows? I’m excited to see what you think of the way it ends!
> 
> See ya next week~


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT FOLKS. THE FINAL CHAPTER. ENJOY
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Dream Daddy, but it’s a great game.

As they reached the front door of the Christiansen residence, Mary turned around and put a finger to her lips. “I’m gonna see where he is.”

She carefully opened the front door, making sure to make as little noise as possible. She poked her head in and saw her husband in the kitchen, his back to the front door, Jimmy Buffett quietly playing from his phone. Mary motioned to Robert to come in, and they carefully and quietly made their way into the master bedroom, closing the door but making sure to leave it unlocked.

Robert breathed a sigh of relief. “Damn. I haven’t had to sneak that quietly since I was hot on the trail of Bigfoot.”

Mary rolled her eyes and smirked. “You and your dumb Bigfoot.” She perched herself on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, don’t talk shit about Bigfoot. He’s real.” The man pointed a finger at Mary before shrugging his jacket off and sat down next to Mary. “You sure you wanna do this?”

“Anything to get back at my cheating husband for ruining both our lives.” The woman remarked, leaning back casually. “Have at me, sailor.”

 _This is so weird. Don’t picture this as your good friend. This is Marilyn. Yeah…_ Finishing that thought, Robert leaned forward, planting his lips on Mary.

The kiss began very unsure, as if they were both having a last minute hesitation about the situation, but as soon as Mary bit down on his lip, he knew she meant business. He broke the kiss to remove his shirt and hers before pushing her down on the bed.

Mary gasped at the sudden forcefulness and clung onto Robert’s back. She felt him move down to her collarbone, sucking on the skin. She couldn’t help but moan at the sensation, but she made sure to make it louder than necessary. “Nice start, but it’s you he’s gonna need to hear.”

With that, she flipped them over, straddling Robert’s hips. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts. He squeezed them experimentally, but immediately froze as he felt her grind her hips on his. He moaned, first in surprise, then in pleasure as she continued.

The woman smirked. _He had to have heard that._ Soon after she thought that, she heard the door slam open behind them. “Mary?!” A man said.

Mary turned around, pretending to be surprised. “Joseph! Oh, I can’t believe you caught us.” She got off of Robert, sitting on the other side of the bed. Robert just lay there with a smirk on his face.

“Mary what are you doing? I thought you loved me! And in our own house?!” Joseph exclaimed, sounding completely heartbroken.

“Well, I _did_ love you. But I’ve moved on. Robert is just… different.” The woman explained. “He’s got a fire in him that I like.”

This made Joseph look upset. “Oh… so, you love him now, is that it? You would rather be with him than me?” He looked at Mary like a puppy who was just scolded.

Seeing his face and feeling guilty, Mary’s expression softened. “No… I wouldn’t.” She sighed. “Robert and I planned this to get back at you. We aren’t together, no more than just friends. I just wanted you to experience the pain I felt.”

Joseph walked over to Mary, sitting down next to her. “I see. I’m sorry Mary. I was hoping that if I was with someone else, I would find my love and lust for you again, like when we first got married. I don’t know how it didn’t occur to me that it would hurt you so much in the process.”

The woman sighed. “Yeah, well… it did. A lot. And the fact that you cheated on me with one of the only friends I’ve had in a very long time didn’t help the situation at all…”

“I know, and I truly am sorry. Would you forgive me?” The blonde looked at his wife with sad, hopeful eyes.

“Yeah sure, captain. But you have someone else to apologize to as well.” She motioned behind her to Robert, who was still casually laying on the bed.

Joseph turned around to face the other man. “Robert, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to toy with your emotions as I did. It was wrong of me to pull you and Mary apart as I did for my own selfish reasons. Do you accept my apology and forgive me?”

Robert contemplated this for a second. “In all honesty, no I don’t forgive you. What you did was awful and I want you to realize you stabbed me in the back. I will tolerate your presence, but no more than that.”

“I understand.” The blonde said in a defeated tone. “Well, I’m going to go finish my baking. I’ll leave you two alone.” He got up and left the room.

Robert sat up as Mary turned to face him. “I can’t say I’m pleased with the outcome, but I’m glad you stood your ground, Robert.”

“Yeah.” The man said. “Ya think that’s the last time he’ll cheat on you?”

The dirty blonde snorted. “No. But at this point, I’ll take what I can get and enjoy it while it lasts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all for now folks! For those of you who have made it all the way through this, thank you so much. I appreciate your support so much! If you liked something you read, or have a ship you think I should cover, let me know. I’m always happy to take suggestions.
> 
> For now, rock on, readers.~

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys thought! I’m thinking of uploading these on a weekly basis for the next 5 weeks, just so I can space it out and occasionally torture you with cliffhangers- I mean so people have time to read the chapter. 
> 
> Until next time my lovely readers~


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